|  Publications
Phillip C. Querin, Partner
Partner - Portland, Oregon Office
philquerin@dwt.com
(503) 241-2300
Don't Try This At Home
[September 2007]
Editor’s Note: In lieu of a serious
real estate article for this issue, PMAR has opted to publish the
following spoof which was authored by Phil Querin during his recent
sabbatical immediately after reading an article appearing in a major
newspaper on the benefit to owners who sell their home without using
a Realtor®.
Despite the fact that they are healthier and
living longer, many Americans are still paying a walloping 6% of
their annual income on doctors.
At first blush, 6% may not sound like
much, but consider this: According to statistics, the average price
of an appendectomy today is $9,000, up 50% from only 20 years ago.
This is a hefty penalty for being healthy, and one that more and
more Americans are unwilling to pay.
Many Americans are now opting to perform their own appendectomies
using online services such as SutureSelf.com and StitchInTime.com.
And there's good reason for going to the Web: one recent survey
found that 80% of Americans used the Internet when thinking about
having surgery.
Performing your own appendectomy online is simpler then you might
think, says Gaylord Bobkins, CEO of the British firm, BloodyEasy.com,
a leading advocate of self-help online surgery. Here are the three
key steps you need to take:
- Determine Your Diagnosis. If you're working without a doctor,
the first and most important step is to get an accurate diagnosis,
says Bobkins. To do so, simply visit an association of professional
diagnosticians. There is also a group of free services on the
Web that allow you to input your height, weight, age, physical
condition, and approximate location of your appendix. With pictures
and virtual tours, the online service will guide you through the
proper technique to determine if you need your appendix removed.
Most such services disclose that they have a margin of error of
only 7% to 10%, so the risks of something going wrong are really
quite minimal.
- Perform The Surgery. The goal when performing your own appendectomy,
says Bobkins, is to make sure to have a steady hand, a high pain
tolerance, and are willing to accept risk. The surgery itself
can be fairly simple, with little more than a soft cot, a clean
scalpel and a large hand mirror.
- Sewing Yourself Up. Once you complete the surgery, you need
to call in the professionals. There are many professional seamstresses
who, for a nominal hourly fee, would be willing to compete the
operation. Regardless of who handles the suturing, you shouldn't
expect to pay more than about $500, says Bobkins, noting that
life-long scar is a small price to pay for all the money you’ll
save.
So, how much do you stand to gain by leaving the doctor out of
this process? According to Bobkins, performing your own appendectomy
online is likely to save you thousands of dollars. With so little
risk and so much to save, more and more Americans will likely be
performing their own appendectomies in the future. After all, it’s
not brain surgery.
© Copyright
2007. Phillip C. Querin, Davis Wright Tremaine. No part may be reproduced
without the author’s express written consent.
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